I was recently asked to list 5 things that made me happy. At first I was like "oh, well, of course, my husband, cooking..." and so on, but I spent a lot of time after that initial question really pondering the thought - what truly made me happy.
Gosh, I could have really gone mad and gone on to say... Uh, perhaps having buckets of money, shopping whenever I wanted, a weekly delivery of Manolo Blaniks, bi-annual overseas holidays, driving a new Mercedes-Benz, or a new diamond ring. Then I realized these were all material things that I THOUGHT might make me happy. How would I know if a new Gucci bag would truly make me happy? It would definitely make me feel good... but happy? Truly, madly, deliriously happy?
So I changed the question to what is truly important to me; what do I really value? This yielded a different response; things I value included: honesty, integrity, friendships, love and trust; these are all values that are very important to me. So, when I see these values in action or come to life - that makes me happy!
OK, so how do I get to see these values in action more often, so I am happy all the time (well, let's say 90% of the time, since we have to allow for the odd bad hair day!). A review of my values list revealed a key missing element - time. Each of us has their own value system in relation to time; some people have plenty of it, but more often than not, the vast majority of us are scratching around the bottom of our handbag looking for more time as if it were a stray lipstick.
So the next thought in my "quest for happy", is how do I find more time to experience my values in action, allowing me to be happy most of the time - it seemed that simple.
Pondering how I might retrieve some time from the black hole that it seems to drain into each day, I had to assess the way in which I was already spending the time I had - almost like a review of my budget of hours. We all have the same allocation of hours in each day, so questioning or reviewing how I spent my hours allowance was required. I have 24 hours each day, how and where am I going to spend them? Will I get a good return on my investment?
So I carried out a time audit. It didn't take long to realize that my work guzzled about 10 hours each day, sleep relieved me of about 8 hours, leaving me with a balance of 6 hours each day, now thinking about the incidentals such as showers, bathroom, meals, commuting, general errands, washing, ironing, cleaning, grocery shopping, I was probably working on a deficit of about 2 hours a day - and I don't have children! I didn't find too many opportunities to see my values in action between the white and the coloured wash cycle!
The result of my time audit revealed that I had to prioritise the allocation of my 24 hour-a-day time budget and change my approach to my time management. Enter "outsourcing;" I no longer commute to work (I work from home), I do my grocery shopping online, I send my washing and ironing out to be done. I was also able to manage my time better and plan how my time needed to be allocated each week.
So the final result of the initial question "What makes me happy?" really boiled down to clearly defining my values, then ensuring I create enough time in my life to see them in action.
